Negotiating without a net

Dominick Misino was a New York Police Department Detective for 22 years. He spent the last six years of his career as a primary negotiator in hostage crisis situations where he persuaded a range of people from psychopaths to armed criminals to not harm their hostages. In the 200 incidents he handled he never lost a life. His most famous case was in 1993 successfully persuading the hijacker of Lufthansa Flight 592 to take the pistol away from the pilot’s head surrender himself at Kennedy Airport. He had only 45 minutes to build a relationship with the hijacker and bring the plane down safely.

He offers good advice for dealing with people that are in operating from an extreme version of the Power Leading Value. The people he was persuading were often very agitated, angry and erratic. The seven keys to what he suggests are:

1. Be respectful and sensitive to his needs, even at this level if you give something to somebody they feel obliged to give something back. Force is a last resort

2. Ask him if he would like you to tell him the truth. When they say yes you have set up an early agreement, and all large agreements are just a series of small ones.

3. Be a good listener – ask him to tell you his side of the story. Also be alert for the emotion that may be behind the words. Let the other person vent if they are angry

4. Be empathetic and understanding but remember that you never know exactly how someone else feels

5. Be aware of your strong emotions and occasionally let them out provided you are aware of what you are doing and the potential risks.

6. Separate the decision making from the negotiation

7. Allow the other person to save face. Find a way for them to maintain their pride if they agree to change their thinking. Often in a red situation he knows he’s wrong but his pride won’t allow him to agree with you.

Read more in Negotiating Without A Net: A Conversation with NYPD’s Dominick J.Misino, Harvard Business Review October 2002. See also http://www.hostagenegotiation.com/